You see, I saw a kondom on her bedroom dresser, and she became embarrassed when she knew I'd seen it. But she said she'd bought it at the pharmacy for...a friend who was too shy to buy one. She pretends to be very strict and won't have sex until she's married. But I've seen her take her boyfriend into the long grass at the back of the house, and when they come out they are always cuddling as if something nice has happened. My sister is perhaps a little more confident nowadays, and she's not so. Who the fuck are you? I am the archangel Amia, my lady, she replied. I serve your husband as his personal assistant. Very personal from the looks of things, Samantha said. Sam, I can explain! David insisted. David, I really dont care if you fuck random girls, even angels, Samantha told him. I mean, I had sex with like 5 guys in Jacks PE class. Im just a bit confused as to why you need a PA. I seek to guide the Lord in his rule over all of creation, Amia said. And what exactly makes you. Stooping to pick it up carefully and examining with my trusty magnifying glass, "Eureka," I proclaimed."What is it, a clue?" Watson asked."It's the broken heel of a woman's shoe," I informed and progressed the plot, holding it in one hand and pointing with the other (my decades of watching Vanna White finally paying off)."How do you know it's the Ruby red slipper?"Slowly manipulating it until a secret compartment popped open, displaying my discovery. "This is where Judy Garland stored her pain. It reminded me of medieval monasteries, of which it might well be one.As I came closer, I noted that it looked abandoned and completely empty. This struck me as more than odd. Why would such a fine structure be left to decay? There was ever indication that it once hosted great men and witnessed great happenings, but now it was almost forgotten. I decided that this would be my home, for the moment at least. There was no sense in wasting such a fine house, which would make the nucleus of a great.
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